I often write this blog fairly late at night, as I have always been kind of a night owl... But with Loyce's passing, I find that despair sets in in the late night.. So then if I write something, it seems melancholy..
So in the light of morning with the sun bearing down, I will post from the lake cabin... Yes, I've traveled to the lake... By motorcycle.. But I'm not certain that was a good idea because it is 54 here this morning...
Biscuit is messed up at our house in KC, because she is seeing or perhaps smelling momma everywhere, but she isn't there... She is hiding under the bed during the daytime and not running all over like she did... She needs a dose of her grandchildren...
So Ben came over and gathered her up to go home with his bandits... Ya, they're bandits..... Plus, they have two pet cats that she will chase, when they aren't chasing her... But, the big orange one has all his claws.. I think Biscuit knows better than to catch Remmy, but that doesn't stop the fun of chasing him from his resting place...
The cats climb to safety up on chair tops and their cat condo... Biscuit thinks she is a cat during these sessions..
I left KC about 3 in the afternoon and it was in the 70s.. I had my liner in the jacket and all seemed well... But as I followed the rainstorm that was still in St Louis, it was getting cooler.. I stopped at a Wendy's for a small burger and a big rest...
It was after 7 PM when I arrived here at the lake house, and it was now 64 degrees... I worked on some of the household chores, that remained from Labor Day, as we had left in a toot without finishing up the cleaning....
But eventually it was so quiet in here with no one around in any of the vacation lake houses, that I went back into town to Wal Mart... I bought some pop and english muffins.. By now I had a sweat shirt under the riding jacket.. Luckily it was here in the closet...
Fast forward to this morning, and it is now in the 50s with the sun shining... I barely have the doors cracked and its cool enough to need long pants... Which I didn't think to bring along... I do have my riding pants, and they will have to do...
I need to work on some of the water toys, as it is now fall and everything needs its oil changed.... That should provide some work to keep my mind off of reality...
Retired Rod
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Enjoy your time at the lake and stay warm. New routines can be difficult to embrace, but are necessary to move on!
ReplyDeleteGood for you, busy is good and necessary busy is better, helps keep the mind off your loss.
ReplyDeleteThank you for continuing your blog. Sometimes it's cathartic to write about how you feel. Even the mundane things are important to keep you in your groove. Thanks for sharing with us.
ReplyDeleteAt least your ride was planned. In 97 shortly after my wife passed I took a ride and thought it was getting near time to go to work on the afternoon shift. When I looked at my watch it said I had an hour to get there but when I saw the sign of the town I was entering it was three hours away. Needless to say I needed to refocus.
ReplyDeleteThe task of cleaning out Loyce's clothing will be difficult but a necessary part of not only your's but Biscuit's healing.
Making certain that you eat periodically is also important. Be Safe and Enjoy!
It's about time.
I can only imagine (& dread) the adjustment from loosing a spouse, but I've always heard it's a time to concentrate on how you want to 're-invent' your life. And blogging about your feelings is good therapy.
ReplyDeleteO.K., now you have me curious. Did you bring a laptop in the saddle bags, or do you have an old PC left there?
ReplyDeleteGood for you, Rod, taking the ride to the Lake ....good change... And also Biscuit taking a timeout over with the kitty cats and Gkids ...... Sounds like fall weather is arriving ..... Or at least making an attempt at an entry ......
ReplyDeleteThose day to day jobs and chores keep things moving so that can be helpful when you are on the mend ...... Kinda makes the day have some structure...... Sure seems like your current day to day struggles remind all of us how tough it is when our turn comes to deal with the major ripples in life....... Believe me, none of us can escape the heartaches and life adjustments ..... Thanks for reminding us, Rod that if we haven't already been there, tomorrow we may deal with a major life adjustment ......
Good luck, Rod..... Thinking all the best for you....
Howdy Rod,
ReplyDeleteWonderful ride, that's the way to go... Blow the 'brain-fog' away, get busy and get the 'lake-house' ready for SPRING... That'll take about a week.. Maybe the 'Biscuit-cat' will remember you are still part of her 'family' and not be such a 'mushroom' !!!! By the time you're ready to return to OP the snow may be falling... hee hee
You better get you some long-britches and boots on.... Don't hurt yourself doing the 'winterizing' ; get somebody to help, if you need to... Just keep busy and active, that's the thing !!! Have fun as best you can and eat good, not JUNK.... I went from 201 to 235 in 2 months; just sittin' & eatin" !!!!
Joyce & butterbean
Rod--our hearts go out to you, we can't imagine the pain and loss you must be feeling. Phrases such as "time will heal" just don't cut it now--give yourself time to grieve and grieve some more if need be.
ReplyDeleteI agree that keeping busy is the key to surviving right now. For both you and Biscuit. Just don't freeze riding that bike in cold weather. Think about you often.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any words of wisdom to offer Rod as I know I would be feeling as devastated as you must be if I had suffered the same loss. Take care.
ReplyDelete